If you know me, you know how much I dislike the word “but.” I’ve gotten into arguments with professors and lexicologists alike, who tell me it is a perfectly good and valid word.
It is one of the worst words in the English language. Period. Why? Because it negates everything said previously, whether intentional or unintentional.
“BUT” IS EVERYWHERE
Yes but, right but, and just plain ‘ol but permeate conversations. While at networking functions and social gatherings, I’ve informally counted the utterances. They rival any commonplace word like “and,” “I,” and “a.”
But has become such an accepted word that most people have absolutely no idea how many times they use it. And consequently, and all too frequently, have no idea how harmful it is to maintaining positive workplace relationships.
Our “Yes And” and “Poke Your ‘I’ Out” exercises make people acutely aware of the use of these negative words. Yes And is a concept from improvisational humor where you accept every suggestion made to you. It makes you a better listener, a better communicator, a better colleague, and a better leader (and a better friend). When we do our exercises, it takes a lot of practice for participants to embrace Yes And, leaving their but’s behind (pun intended).
STRENGTHEN YOUR MESSAGES, IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Here’s a challenge…
Try this for one day at first. Before pressing <enter> on your emails, replace every instance of “but,” “however,” “although,” and “on the other hand” with a period or “and.” I’ll bet you a million Monopoly® dollars this suggestion will NOT change your meaning or intent. In fact, this suggestion will strengthen your message.
After doing this for a day or two, implement slowly this process into your spoken words. Become more self-aware of when and why you use that dreadful word. Same process, replace with a period or and.
Typically, it takes one to two months to see and feel the difference. Watch how people treat you–differently and better…
Photography Source: DepositPhotos