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Turbo Encabulator – Complete Text of the Best, Worst Example of Jargon

By July 16, 2014 November 18th, 2019 No Comments
turbo encabulator product data sheet produced by engineers at General Electric - blog header image

The other day, I gave one of our Executive Storytelling training workshops. In it, I showed one of my all-time favorite commercial videos, the Turbo Encabulator (video below).  I show it to demonstrate the best and worst aspects of using jargon. Most people do not even realize how much jargon they use in their various communication. This video is a humorous way of gently reminding everyone to minimize jargon. One of the program participants asked me for the actual text of the video (see below), prompting me to write this post.

You owe it to yourself to watch this 90-second commercial video to be completely awed at the delivery by a truly gifted presenter, Bud Haggert. If it wasn’t for the fact that nearly every important word is made up, you might believe he is talking about a very technical, highly complex piece of machinery, the Turbo Encabulator.

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TURBO ENCABULATOR – COMPLETE TEXT

Here’s the script. Enjoy!

“For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turbo encabulator.

Now basically the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive diractance.

The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented.

The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdle spring on the “up” end of the grammeters.

The turbo-encabulator has now reached a high level of development, and it’s being successfully used in the operation of novertrunnions. Moreover, whenever a forescent skor motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm, to reduce sinusoidal repleneration.”

Ira Koretsky

About Ira Koretsky

Ira Koretsky has built The Chief Storyteller® into one of the most recognized names in business storytelling. He has delivered over 500 keynote presentations and workshops in nearly a dozen countries, in more than one hundred cities, across 30 plus industries. His specialties are simplifying the complex and communicating when the stakes are high. He is also an adjunct professor in public speaking and storytelling at the University of Maryland's Business School. With over 25 years of experience, he is a sought-after global speaker, trainer, consultant, and executive communication coach.