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15 Funny Quotes on Statistics, Math, and Science

By September 27, 2017August 10th, 2020No Comments
cartoon of three executives doing data visualization, sharing a funny quote about statistics

I was in a client meeting yesterday. All of the participants had PhDs. We were talking about data storytelling and data visualization concepts — how to simplify the presentation, how to make it more impactful, how to turn it from dry to dynamic, prototyping stories, and so forth.

A word or phrase of some sort, prompted one person to share the funny Mark Twain on statistics below (first one below). Every had a good laugh.

It got me thinking about funny quotes related to math, statistics, and science. As such, I curated some of my favorites. If you have a favorite, please email me. Let’s spread the atoms (yuck yuck).

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain

American writer | Born, Samuel Langhorne Clemens | 1835 – 1910

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
– June Henderson

Statistics is the grammar of science.
Karl Pearson

English mathematician and biostatistician | 1857 – 1936

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.
Harry Reasoner

American journalist for ABC and CBS – launched 60 Minutes program | 1923 – 1991

An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
Albert Einstein

Awarded Nobel Prize in Physics 1921 | Father of “Relativity” | 1879 – 1955

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Bill Watterson

Illustrator | Creator of Calvin and Hobbes cartoon series

I’m a visual thinker, really bad at algebra. There’s others that are a pattern thinker. These are the music and math minds. They think in patterns instead of pictures. Then there’s another type that’s not a visual thinker at all, and they’re the ones that memorize all of the sports statistics, all of the weather statistics.
Temple Grandin

Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University | Speaker | Author

If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment.
Ernest Rutherford

New Zealand physicist | 1st Baron Rutherford Nelson | Discovered concept of radioactive half-life | Awardee Nobel Prize in Chemistry | 1871 – 1937

Statistics do not convey emotion. They shock us for a minute or two, and then we click again.
Madeleine M. Kunin

American diplomat, author and politician | 77th Governor of Vermont | United States Ambassador to Switzerland

It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.
George Bernard Shaw

Irish playwright | 1856 – 1950

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Stephen Leacock

Canadian teacher, political scientist, writer, humorist | 1869 – 1944

Being a scientist is like doing a jigsaw puzzle in a snowstorm at night, with some pieces missing, and with no idea what the finished picture looks like.
– Anonymous scientist

We all understand the twinge of discomfort at the thought that we share a common ancestor with the apes. No one can embarrass you like a relative.
Neal deGrasse Tyson

American astrophysicist

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.
Robert Brault

Freelance writer & author

If A is success in life, I should say the formula is A=X+Y+Z, X being work and Y being play… Z is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein

Awarded Nobel Prize in Physics 1921 | Father of “Relativity” | 1879 – 1955

Photography Source: DepositPhotos
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Ira Koretsky

Ira Koretsky has built The Chief Storyteller® into one of the most recognized names in communication, especially business storytelling. He has delivered over 500 keynote presentations and workshops in nearly a dozen countries, in more than one hundred cities, across 30 plus industries. His specialties are simplifying the complex and communicating when the stakes are high. He is also an adjunct professor in public speaking and storytelling at the University of Maryland's Business School. With over 25 years of experience, he is a sought-after storytelling coach, global speaker, trainer, consultant, communication coach, and public speaking coach.