In an instant, I can always tell what my experience is going to be with a brand, company or organization I am interacting with for the first time. In most cases, I can see it. Where I cannot see it, I can hear it. And regardless of whether I can see or hear it, I can almost always feel it. In a word, it’s a smile.

A smile is contagious. It starts with your employees and how they greet one another at the beginning of their work day. It extends to how they greet your customers at every touch point in their experience with your brand, company or organization. You don’t need a magnifying glass to observe it. And you won’t see it measured on any report. You will, however, know it when you see it.

So the next time someone asks you to look into improving your customer experience, start where it matters…at the beginning. How are your employees greeting one another? How often do they smile when they are at work? Can you see the smiles on their faces? Or hear them in their voices? Or feel them by their presence?

Remember, all great customer experiences begin with a smile.

The other day, Geetesh Baraj, PowerPoint MVP and Manager of the "PowerPoint and Presenting Stuff" LinkedIn Group posted the following question to the group.  My suggestions follow below...

Creating Slides for Multi-Lingual Audiences
I am researching a blog post topic -- since it is still being researched, anything mentioned below is not set in stone. I am open to all your thoughts and the scenario and the suggestions can be broadly changed as required.
Here is the scenario, and as I said, this is a broad definition that can be changed:
1. You need to create slides for a multi-lingual audience.
2. Everyone in the audience understands English to some extent, but they are not necessarily fluent in the language.
3. The presentation needs to distributed later to audience members -- and some others who were not present at the actual event.
4. Before distribution, the presentation may need to be translated to other languages -- this means that there needs to be some basic amount of text.

What are your thoughts about the use of:
1. Story / Outline: How deep should this be? Should the depth level be low -- will that compromise the content?
2. Text: What level of simplification?
3. Visuals: Should pictures replace text, or complement it?
4. Design and Color: What works best?

 

My response:

Geetesh,

Interesting...

I've pondered this several years ago before I started presenting internationally. I have had the honor of conducting programs in 8 countries with six trips involving simultaneous translation. Here are some questions and suggestions.

1. How knowledgeable is the audience? Without knowing your answer, in general, I suggest ~30 to 50% reduction in complexity and content
2) The broad brush suggestion is to translate the presentation and handouts in advance. Bring your own version matched page-for-page with the translated version
3) Find people through your network whom have done business, worked in, or lived in the country/region and solicit feedback
4) Localize--always. For color, fonts, pictures, graphs, words, humor, etc. Some seemingly small things could actually backfire and you may never even know it
5) Consider an appendix or handouts with tips, examples, and how-to's
6) Solicit feedback from the audience afterward. Be gentle as you probe, as some cultures are not forthcoming with what they deem criticism of the speaker

I remind people that networking is hard. It is like a big blind date for professionals. And you should expect lots of no's and few yes's. I always quote Richard Bolles in "What Color Is Your Parachute?"  "Think of every "no" as bringing you one step closer to a "yes."

During a recent "how to networking" program" I was asked one of the more frequent question, "How do I know if I should exit a conversation?"

Here are five sure-fire indicators that your conversation partner is ready to move on. He/she...

1. Stops asking questions. This is a direct way of letting you know. The awkwardness alone makes you cringe. Exit quickly.

2. Starts glancing around frequently. Many people do not realize they are doing this. This is not an absolute, more of an indicator as your conversation partner may be looking for a specific person.

3. Stops smiling. This is generally an unconscious way of displaying disinterest. It could also indicate the person is unsure of how to proceed or may need further explanation on something you just said.

4. Shifts weight from foot-to-foot or side-to-side. Another generally unconscious way of showing you disinterest. Most of the time this body language is clear, time to exit.

5. Introduces you to someone else. If you are introduced to someone else quickly, there are two reasons...a hand-off (read "get rid of you") or an in the moment referral. Based on the conversation thus far, it should be easy to know which reason.

For the past two years (2011 and 2012), I shared my top 50 business storytelling and communications mantras. As I plan for 2013, I always look to my list to light a small fire of inspiration.

As you look through this list, see what applies to your life or what you want to apply. Write your own list of mantras. Whatever you do, make a list (short or long) of your goals and aspirations. Every so often read, revise, and contemplate...

Here are the mantras at The Chief Storyteller. Think about this list and how it can help prompt new and fresh approaches to making your personal and organizational communications unforgettable. We would love to hear your mantras...please leave them in the comments.

Personal Storytelling & Communications
01.    People are at the heart of every great story.
02.    Stories are how people remember you.
03.    Use humor if you want to.
04.    Write in your authentic voice.
05.    Write and speak conversationally.
06.    Write emails as if they will be read on a smart phone.
07.    Tell more personal stories with relevant business messages

Brand/Organizational Storytelling
08.    Promise a better tomorrow.
09.    Know your elevator speech / elevator pitch / mission statement (core business story).
10.    Ensure your core business story is unified throughout all communication materials.
11.    Your brand story is everything.
12.    Success stories are key to differentiation.
13.    Social communities are built on personal and business stories.
14.    Deliver on the expected experience.

Relationships
15.    It’s all about them.
16.    Relationships matter.
17.    Business stories are the engine of relationships and relationships are the engine of continued success.
18.    Credibility is more important than expertise in the beginning of relationships.
19.    Send hand-written thank you notes, especially job hunters.
20.    Active listening is key to building great relationships.
21.    Treat everyone like a CEO.
22.    Stop listening to your Mother. Talk to strangers at networking events.
23.    It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.
24.    Treat every client like your best client.
25.    Be a deliberate networker.
26.    Be a people bridge and make referrals.
27.    Be a mentor.
28.    People crave connection.
29.    First Impressions Make Lasting Impressions:  offer a warm smile, firm handshake, and good eye contact.

Communications
30.    Write to the 10th grade level.
31    Content is king.
32.    (Good) blog and article content matters the most.
33.    Strive for “interest” questions. Avoid “understanding” questions.
34.    Content first. Design second.
35.    Always have a second person read your content before publishing.
36.    Design your website for your target audiences (not your staff).
37.    Inspire Action:  facts do not persuade and inspire, people do.
38.    Audiences are hungry for original thought-provoking content.
39.    Get yourself known (e.g., LinkedIn questions and answers, post to SlideShare, and Tweet good information).
40.    Speak in headlines.
41.    Maintain a detailed Ideal Target Profile for your key target audiences.

Personal Development
42.    But is the worst word in the English language (and many other languages).
43.    Words really, really matter.
44.    Have positive self-talk conversations.
45.    Change is a choice.
46.    Create your own success momentum.
47.    Be a student everyday.
48.    Be a whole body communicator.
49.    Avoid fillers (um, ah, like, you know)
50.   Be a deliberate communicator

The holidays are upon us and this season of goodwill is a wonderful opportunity for organizations of all types to make a difference in the communities they serve.

One of the best ways we can make a difference in the lives of others is to volunteer.  Volunteering with others in community service is a great way to build relationships, help the less fortunate and improve your reputation. It's an opportunity for organizations who say they care about a cause or group of people to put their words into actions. Giving back is not only a way to make a difference, it's a way to differentiate your brand. 

In her poem, "Life’s Mirror," Madeline Bridges speaks eloquently of this relationship between giving back and receiving when she writes, “Then give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.”

Make this the holiday season where you give your very best.

For more thoughts on how organizations can serve others, please see:
• Reputation Management: Six Things Brands Can Learn from George Bailey
• Your Brand and the Community It Serves
• What the Boy Scouts Can Teach Your Business About Serving Others

This is the time of year when Americans typically gather with families and friends to give thanks – for each other, for successes achieved and for challenges overcome. More than any other holiday, Thanksgiving is a time for reflecting on how the efforts of others have enriched our lives.

It’s a fitting time of year, then, to remind our employees just how much we appreciate and respect them – for making the commitment to be a part of our organization, the experience they bring to the table, the ideas they share and the efforts they make in support of our success.

When I was growing up, my dad would bring a turkey home from work every year. It was a simple and thoughtful gesture from his employer – a small factory in Connecticut – that acknowledged employees and their families for the sacrifices they had made in support of the company. And, yet, the impact of this gesture extended well beyond the dinner table on Thanksgiving day...to the factory floor on the following Monday and beyond, where it was rewarded with continuing company loyalty, higher productivity and an unwavering commitment to quality.

As your employees leave your workplace for the Thanksgiving holiday this week, remember to thank them. You don’t need a turkey to give thanks; all you need are two simple words spoken from the heart – “thank you.”   

There are a few spots left for Wednesday's workshop in the Baltimore, Maryland area. Here is the information. Email Bjorn (contact info below) with any questions (or me).

There will be a meeting of entrepreneurs who want to learn the art of making great presentations. Mr. Ira Koretsky will lead this event. He has travelled the world training people and consulting to organizations on the art and science of great communications. Join us for a fun, engaging and insightful event.  

Ira will introduce us to his five-step approach. He will ask you to draft your pitch (any type of pitch). And he will ask for volunteers to deliver what you have done during the workshop. Ira makes your communications unforgettable. He helps you develop compelling messages to your target audiences. With better spoken, written, and online communications, you will expand brand awareness, improve business outcomes, and strengthen financial results.

Presenting with Confidence: Develop and Deliver Engaging Presentations in 5 Steps
Great presenters transform ideas into action. They put their messages, supporting points, facts, and personal stories into a meaningful context for their audiences. Great presenters do not just tell us what we should know, they tell us what we should do, and why we should do it. Learn the techniques of great presenters. Learn to develop engaging presentations of any type for any audience (e.g., investor,prospecting, partner, executive team, and board updates). Join us as we share the five key steps to becoming a more confident and persuasive presenter. Learn more at www.TheChiefStoryteller.com  

About Our Speaker
Ira Koretsky founded The Chief Storyteller® in 2002. Based on more than 26 years of experience, research, and refinement, he has developed a process shared internationally to over 25,600 people. This flexible process helps you develop and deliver highly targeted messages to your audiences. Ira looks at the world of communications and messaging differently than most. He looks at the world through the lens of storytelling, with a twist (come see the “twist” at this event).  

Meeting objectives
- Identify the best messages and words interesting to your listeners.
- Focus your content on answering the questions of your audience.
- Learn a new way of communicating and building relationships.
- Harness the power of storytelling to meet your objectives more effectively and more quickly. Facts can only prove, stories build value!  

Participants
Everybody, including entrepreneurs, need to pitch their stories to customers, investors, partners, and employees. Usually different pitches to different people.

Time and place
November 14, 2012 from 12:30 to 3:30 pm, Large seminar room at UMBC’s energy incubator (CETI)

1450 South Rolling Road, Halethorpe, MD 21227

Agenda
12:30 pm Doors open & networking.
1:00 pm Workshop conducted by Ira Koretsky.
3:00 pm More networking (Ira will leave for another commitment).  

RSVP
Please RSVP to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

We will limit the number of RSVPs to 60. This is likely to become a sold-out event.  This meeting is free and open to all.

Hosts
- Maryland Clean Energy Technology Incubator (CETI) @ bwtech @ UMBC.
- Maryland Clean Energy Center (MCEC).

Sponsors
- Maryland Department of Business & Economic Development (DBED).
- Whiteford Taylor Preston (WTP).
- SB & Company.

Contact
Bjorn Frogner, PhD
Entrepreneur in Residence, Tel: 443-534-7671
Maryland Clean Energy Technology Incubator(CETI) at bwtech@UMBC

Yahoo recently published an article, "Body Language Signs to Watch During the Debates." 

This particular paragraph sums it all up nicely:

"The mistakes the presidential candidates have made over the years are numerous. Poor body language has been a common blunder. As much as candidates focus on perfecting the substance of what they say before the cameras, a large number of Americans are really most interested to see how they say it," CNN contributor and history professor Julian Zelizer wrote for CNN.

The article goes in depth on various body language tendencies of both candidates. And the article ends with a brief discussion of six non verbal cues:

1. An itchy nose

2. Hands in pockets

3. Crossed arms

4. Touching the neck

5. Finger pointing

6. Frequent eye blinking

A friend of mine was recently called out for entering something into his iPhone during a meeting. What do you think? Does using your mobile device during a meeting constitute rude behavior? Or is it a way for you to further engage the speaker?

While recognizing there are no absolutes here, I’m going to take the position that audience members who use mobile devices during presentations by others are, generally speaking, more engaged than those who do not. My experience tells me that people who use mobile devices tend to be more tech-enabled and connected than their less social-savvy counterparts.

As an example, I recently delivered a presentation on brand advocacy and personal branding to a graduate-level social media marketing class at The George Washington University here in Washington, DC.  As I stood before the students, I could see a number of them were using their mobile devices – smartphones, tablets and laptops.

When I looked at Twitter afterward, I noticed a number of them were talking about the insights I had shared with them. Several more of them had decided to follow me. I spent part of my ride home on the Metro interacting with and further engaging them. 

How I came to perceive students who were using their mobile devices while I was speaking – rude or engaged – is attributable to my own comfort level with Twitter. Had it not been for that, it would have been easy for me to assume they were just being rude.  Having the ability to interact with my audience on Twitter allowed me to realize how fully engaged they were…and how they were helping me promote my personal brand.

       

I read recently the factor with the greatest impact on employee retention is the employee’s relationship with his or her boss. This conclusion is documented in the book, “First, Break All the Rules – What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently.” The authors of this book based their finding on in-depth interviews of over 80,000 managers in over 400 companies. And yes, they concluded, “people leave managers, not companies.”

If this is so obvious, why then do some organizations seem oblivious to the impact their managers might be having on employee retention? Some might argue it’s easier to turn a blind eye. Others might suggest that there are no bad bosses, only employees who are difficult to manage.  I’m going to suggest another reason – a lack of management training and possibly awareness.

Here are four signs your managers may be having an adverse impact on your organization’s employee retention rate, along with some ideas for improving their leadership behaviors:
• Managers who fail to interact with their employees.
     At the most basic level, your managers should be going out of their way to greet their people at the start and end of each day.  When it comes to leadership, these simple acts of courtesy are table stakes.
• Managers who manage work, not people.
     Less experienced managers are often overwhlemed by their own tasks as individual contributors, especially those who have a tendency toward  micromanaging the work of others. Managers achieve greater gains in employee productivity and morale by investing more time interacting with and otherwise engaging their teams. Encourage your managers to view their work as a team effort.
• Managers who fail to delegate responsibilities.
     Managers who mentor their employees to accept more challenging responsibilities almost always find it easier to delegate, mainly because they’ve allowed themselves to trust in the abilities of their employees. Employees, in turn, work harder to maintain that trust and find their work more satisfying.
• Managers who are openly critical of others in the organization.
     Conversations about ideas on how to improve the organization and its results are more inspiring to your employees than criticisms of others in the organization. Employees want a work environment they can feel good about. Encourage your managers to set a positive tone and example.

I am honored to be speaking at the local MIT Enterprise Forum® here in the Washington, DC area. Thank you to my good friend Oz from InnoEngineer for setting this event up.

Here is all of the information...

Get Funded - Design and Deliver the Perfect Investor Pitch [Open Workshop Event]
It is imperative to have a clear and concise message that gets prospective investors to say, "Let’s talk!"…especially in today's economy. In this interactive, hands-on workshop, you will learn how to create a powerful, clear message that wows prospective investors. Apply five proven steps taught internationally, to design and deliver the perfect investor pitch. Receive concrete suggestions on your presentation based on individual and partner exercises. Join us as we show you how to transform your ideas into action.

 

Date: Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Time: 6:30pm - 9:00pm

Location: Startup Lab, Johns Hopkins University, DC Campus, 1717 Massachusetts Avenue, NW, Lower Level, Room 7

Parking:  Central Parking, 1800 Mass. Ave. NW. If you click http://washingtondc.centralparking.com/Washington-DC-1800-Massachusetts-Aven ue-NW-Parking.html you can get a coupon that reduces the cost to $6 after 5:00 PM. Nearest Metro stop is Dupont Circle. 

Last year I shared my top 50 business storytelling mantras. As I plan for 2012, I always look to my list to light a small fire of inspiration.

As you look through this list, see what applies to your life or what you want to apply. Write your own list of mantras. Whatever you do, make a list (short or long) of your goals and aspirations. Every so often read, revise, and contemplate...

 

Here are the mantras at The Chief Storyteller. Think about this list and how it can help prompt new and fresh approaches to your business stories. We would love to hear your mantras...please leave them in the comments.

1.    It’s all about them.
2.    Business stories are the engine of relationships and relationships are the engine of continued success.
3.    Write to the 10th grade level.
4.    Be memorable.
5.    Use humor if you want to.
6.    Content is king.
7.    Relationships matter.
8.    Credibility is more important than expertise in the beginning of relationships.
9.    Know your elevator speech / elevator pitch / mission statement (core business story).
10.    Ensure your core business story is unified throughout all communication materials.
11.    Your brand story is everything.
12.    Success stories are key to differentiation.
13.    (Good) blog and article content matters the most.
14.    Strive for “interest” questions. Avoid “understanding” questions.
15.    Social communities are built on personal and business stories.
16.    Everything you write, speak, and record online is a business story.
17.    Content first. Design second.
18.    Always have a second person read your content before publishing.
19.    Design your website for your target audiences (not your employees).
20.    Everyone builds relationships through networking.
21.    Send hand-written thank you notes, especially job hunters.
22.    Audiences are hungry for original thought-provoking content.
23.    Blogs are for sharing, educating, and inspiring…not selling.
24.    Get yourself known (e.g., LinkedIn questions and answers, post to SlideShare, and Tweet good information).
25.    Generating genuine interest in your product/service is the first step in building a relationship.
26.    Active listening is key to building great relationships.
27.    Write in your authentic voice.
28.    But is the worst word in the English language (and many other languages).
29.    Words really, really matter.
30.    Treat everyone like a CEO.
31.    Stop listening to your Mother. Talk to strangers at networking events.
32.    It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.
33.    Speak in headlines.
34.    Write and speak conversationally.
35.    Treat every client like your best client.
36.    Maintain a detailed Ideal Target Profile for your key target audiences.
37.    Have positive self-talk conversations.
38.    Change is a choice.
39.    Deliver on the expected experience.
40.    Create your own success momentum.
41.    Be a student everyday.
42.    Be a deliberate networker.
43.    Be a deliberate communicator.
44.    Be a people bridge and make referrals.
45.    Be a mentor.
46.    Be a whole body communicator.
47.    Write emails as if they will be read on a smart phone.
48.    Inspire Action:  facts do not persuade and inspire, people do.
49.    First Impressions Make Lasting Impressions:  offer a warm smile, firm handshake, and good eye contact.
50.    People are at the heart of every great story.

Over the years I have learned to use the hidden power of "No" when working with certain types of people or with time-challenged teams. 

Today I have a client where the team is out of town half of every month. Saying that scheduling meetings is a challenge is sometimes an understatement.

With their personalities and time commitments, they are the perfect candidates for applying my "No" style of consulting.

For example, while developing a new presentation outlying the group's strategy, we would collaborate and develop the outline. I would then show them two to three options for each of the major concept storyboards/slides. The various team members inevitably would tell me more about what he/she didn't like than what he/she did like.

And that was perfect. I got the results I wanted. I learned what the team preferences were for the messaging and visuals.

Sometimes consultants shy away from what seems like a confrontational communication style. Try looking at how the client communicates, the reasons, and what you can do to adapt your style to achieve the same results.

For many of us in the U.S., the Labor Day holiday marks the official end of summer and with it, the close of our summer pool, water park and beach season. It’s also when the summer lifeguards-- those typically tan, buff and attractive figures who watched over us every time we were in or around the water -- return to school or other full-time jobs.

Who are these lifeguards, anyway? I suspect your answer depends on your personal experience with them. To some, they are the men and women in red bathing suits who spend endless hours in concentrated observation atop towering white chairs. Others see them as the rule enforcers – blowing their whistles when we stray too far from shore or when we are running on the pool deck. And to many others, they are the ones who clean up after us by taking out our trash, straightening the lounge chairs and cleaning the pool.

There’s more to their story, though. They are there to ensure our safety and, if necessary, to perform water rescues and administer emergency first aid. In an actual emergency, they are the ones who respond first and how they perform can mean the difference between a happy ending and a tragedy. 

The lifeguards I know are an elite breed – among them Eagle Scouts, honor students, competitive swimmers, cross-country runners, football players, basketball players, crew team members, etc. They undergo rigorous training and renew their certifications in first aid and water rescue annually. By doing their jobs well, they keep us from becoming stories in the news. And yet, the quiet and concentrated demeanor they bring to their day-to-day duties often lulls us into thinking they are simply there for our comfort and convenience.

There are “lifeguards” in almost every organization – those whose ordinary duties mask a higher purpose – flight attendants and nurses are just two examples that come to mind. As we return to work after Labor Day, let us use this occasion to celebrate the important contributions of the “lifeguards” in our organizations. They really are more than just a book with an attractive cover.

My oldest son and I attended a ceremony for newly licensed drivers at the County courthouse the other day. Like any other parent-son activity, I seized the opportunity to use it as a teachable moment – this time on dressing for success.

When I was growing up, business suits were reserved for special occasions. My dad is a retired factory worker and rarely wore a suit and tie. Etched in my memory is the one instance when he attended a court proceeding. I remember his telling me how important it was to wear a well-pressed suit and tie. It was a sign of respect, he said, for the authority of the court and the people who worked there.

And so it never occurred to me to show up to the courthouse in anything less. As we stood in line at the entrance, we were amazed at what we saw – there were teens in shorts and t-shirts, parents in blue jeans and polo shirts and only a handful with a tie and no jacket. I told my son not to worry. As I learned in sales, there is no such thing as over-dressing.

As the judge entered the room, we observed the usual protocol of rising and then sitting when told to do so. The judge addressed us from the Bench, reminding the teens and their parents of the seriousness of the responsibility they were about to undertake. The ceremony concluded with her presenting each parent-son couple the teen’s new driver’s license.

When our turn came, I and the young man who came dressed for success politely thanked the judge. I could tell by the smile on her face she sensed my son was ready to assume his new responsibility. I know I did. I could tell by the way he was dressed.

I arrived early for a business meeting the other day. The meeting had been scheduled well in advance and the list of participants included about a dozen team members. When the scheduled start time had arrived, there were just two of us in the room.

Over the course of the next ten minutes, the other participants drifted in. Three of those who arrived late chose seats at the end of the table opposite the host. They spent the entire meeting pounding away on their laptop keyboards, looking up occasionally as if to appear engaged in the conversation at hand.

Another member of the team, who held a pivotal role in the implementation of the project we were discussing, left and returned twice. Sitting across from him was another participant, who despite a polite reminder from one of her colleagues, refused to silence the sound of incoming emails on her iPhone.

I began to wonder...if these participants weren't really engaged in the meeting, how could they possibly be paying attention to what was being discussed?

I’ve written before on the importance of collaboration in the workplace. Collaboration results from listening. Listening occurs when everyone is paying attention. Paying attention to the host and others who are speaking shows a respect for other viewpoints and encourages thoughtful debate. Each team member is given the opportunity for input, informed decisions are made, and everyone leaves the room on the same page.

The next time you hold a meeting, you may want to share this advice from Television Anchor Diane Sawyer, "I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention." It could mean the difference between a wildly successful group effort and a mediocre one for your organization.

For more on meeting behavior, see:
- Staying Professional in Virtual Meetings
- Attention Trainers and Presenters: Think Before Speaking
- Help Wanted: Applicants with Boardroom Etiquette

In today's meeting, there were two very strong-willed executives. The goal was to select the preferred headline for their elevator speech (answer to "What do you do?").

Joan, was willing to agree to headline two if the group felt strongly in favor. Christine really wanted headline two. And boy did she let everyone know it. She nearly bullied the room to accept headline two. Can you guess who was the voice of opposition? Yes, Joan. Why? Because human nature kicked in. She become defensive and reactive.

Christine had two options to make the decision process smooth. She could have (1) met all of the key decision makers before the meeting and (b) used subtle ways of influencing and persuading during the meeting. 

When you have a project or idea you are especially passionate about, think about how you can influence and persuade...will you gently nudge, assertively push, or shove them off a cliff?

* names changed

At lunch yesterday, a good friend asked my advice about her handshake. Carol said, in the last month or so, she noticed people she met often commented something to the effect, "Wow...that's a firm handshake." 

She knew something was not quite right with her handshake--she wasn't quite sure.

After just one shake, I knew what the comments were all about. Carol was (a) grasping the hand too tightly and (b) too firmly inserting her web (area between thumb and pointer finger) into the receiving person's web.

With just a few practice handshakes, Carol was back to her "unnoticeable" self again.

People should not be commenting about your handshake. It should just be a quick and natural exchange between two people.

For more tips on body language, read Getting to Yes: Make Body Language Work for You.

I can still remember the poster I saw last year on the wall of the gym, alongside the basketball court. It featured a quote by Dennis and Wendy Mannering that read, “Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?”

I thought of this the other evening when I was meeting with some colleagues about a new service project we were about to undertake. The room was full of energy and almost everyone had an opinion or idea to share. All except one. She sat expressionless throughout the entire meeting, barely uttering a word and doodling in her notebook. When the group’s facilitator asked what she thought, she said she really didn’t have an opinion. Her attitude and body language betrayed her disinterest in the project.

Certainly one of the lessons we take away from team sports is the importance of a positive attitude, even when the task at hand may seem difficult or things may not be going our way. In the business world, the people who are successful are the ones whose attitudes have a positive impact on the lives of those with whom they interact. They love what they do and their enthusiasm is contagious.   

As Winston Churchill once said, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

We have various guides and templates in the office. Guides for writing blogs, articles, and tip guides. We have a brand guide for color, font, format, and logo use. What we don't have is a consolidated list, in one place, of all our mantras--the phrases, statements, aha's, rules, etc.--that "guide" us as we create and deliver content, messages, and great business stories.

Here are our top 50. Think about this list and how it can help prompt new and fresh approaches to your business stories. We would love to hear your mantras...please leave them in the comments.

1.    It’s all about them.
2.    Business stories are the engine of relationships and relationships are the engine of continued success.
3.    Write to the 10th grade level.
4.    Be memorable.
5.    Use humor if you want to.
6.    Content is king.
7.    Relationships matter.
8.    Credibility is more important than expertise in the beginning of relationships.
9.    Know your elevator speech / elevator pitch / mission statement (core business story).
10.    Ensure your core business story is unified throughout all communication materials.
11.    Your brand story is everything.
12.    Success stories are key to differentiation.
13.    (Good) blog and article content matters the most.
14.    Strive for “interest” questions. Avoid “understanding” questions.
15.    Social communities are built on personal and business stories.
16.    Everything you write, speak, and record online is a business story.
17.    Content first. Design second.
18.    Always have a second person read your content before publishing.
19.    Design your website for your target audiences (not your employees).
20.    Everyone builds relationships through networking.
21.    Send hand-written thank you notes, especially job hunters.
22.    Audiences are hungry for original thought-provoking content.
23.    Blogs are for sharing, educating, and inspiring…not selling.
24.    Get yourself known (e.g., LinkedIn questions and answers, post to SlideShare, and Tweet good information).
25.    Generating genuine interest in your product/service is the first step in building a relationship.
26.    Active listening is key to building great relationships.
27.    Write in your authentic voice.
28.    But is the worst word in the English language (and many other languages).
29.    Words really, really matter.
30.    Treat everyone like a CEO.
31.    Stop listening to your Mother. Talk to strangers at networking events.
32.    It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.
33.    Speak in headlines.
34.    Write and speak conversationally.
35.    Treat every client like your best client.
36.    Maintain a detailed Ideal Target Profile for your key target audiences.
37.    Have positive self-talk conversations.
38.    Change is a choice.
39.    Deliver on the expected experience.
40.    Create your own success momentum.
41.    Be a student everyday.
42.    Be a deliberate networker.
43.    Be a deliberate communicator.
44.    Be a people bridge and make referrals.
45.    Be a mentor.
46.    Be a whole body communicator.
47.    Write emails as if they will be read on a smart phone.
48.    Inspire Action: facts do not persuade and inspire, people do.
49.    First Impressions Make Lasting Impressions: offer a warm smile, firm handshake, and good eye contact.
50.    People are at the heart of every great story.

Yahoo had an interesting news link I had to click--"What Not to Say When Pulled Over by a Cop."

The article starts:

Citizens who are generally law-abiding are likely to come into contact with the police only under two circumstances: If you're a crime victim or you get pulled over for a traffic violation.

Police officers are not out to make your life miserable, but to make sure you're following the rules of the road and not endangering yourself or those around you.

With a few exceptions, and an egregious traffic violation is top among them, cops aren't mandated to write tickets. Most would rather send you on your way with a friendly warning -- that can save you time and money.

But handle the situation with an aggressive or arrogant attitude and you can expect to squeeze an expensive court date into your busy schedule.

Three big suggestions are made to the reader: 1) Play Nice; 2) Keep It Honest; and 3) Stay Calm.

The entire article encapsulates human behavior and communication under pressure. It almost sounds like it should be an employment test to see how people respond under pressure. Here's an insightful note: "Cops know that people are nervous when they get pulled over, and they expect a certain amount of jumpiness when they approach a car. Rittorno [one of the officer's interviewed] even admitted she's intimidated in the same situation. "I'm the police and I get scared if I get pulled over," she said."

Forbest just published an article, "Flirting your way to the corner office." The article starts...

Some years ago, a female manager at a large global bank based in New York received a curious e-mail. "Nice shoes," it read. Her 4-inch black suede heels had obviously impressed the sender, a male senior partner. "He had exceptional taste," she recalls with a chuckle. "I thought to myself: I'll file that away."

The partner was a decision-maker in the company and a good person to have on her side. From that day on, whenever she had a presentation and knew he'd be in the room, she paid special attention to her footwear — never flats, always stilettos that added another four inches to her already-striking height of 5'8". "Flirting? I call it efficiency," she says.

The rest of the article presents some differing views and adivce to answer the question, "How, then, does one effectively — and platonically — flirt?"

You'll also find several quick Do's and Don'ts with Forbes' "Secrets Of Professional Flirting."

Additional Resources:
- Getting to Yes: Make Body Language Work for You
- Evidence Little Touches Do Mean So Much
- In all Honesty, Here are Some Ways to Spot a Liar
- What Kind of Flirting is Appropriate?

I was having lunch yesterday with Jon, a colleague and friend. Mid meal, Raf, the waiter came over and somehow we ended up talking about "the look."

What kind of look do I need to give him to indicate the need for...

- more iced-tea
- another napkin
- refilling water
- and so forth

Or how about the signal to indicate...

- I'm ready to order
- let's look at the dessert menu
- check please

We laughed and made some faces simulating the various "needs."

Do you have body language that you are aware of as well as unaware of? Body language or non verbal communication plays a big part in how you convey your self.

My favorite gas station happens to have 5 cent off Thursdays. During morning and evening rush it is really a place to avoid. Long lines and impatience abound.

So I went around 11am and drove right up to the pump. As my car is velvet green from pollen, I looked for a squeegee...not one was available. In fact, not one was in a bucket.

I went inside and asked the manager on duty for one. He seemed at first not to want to answer. Then he told me that by allowing people to use the squeegee on Thursday, causes shouting matches, expletive sharing, and lots of belligerent behavior. His goal is to get people in and out as fast as possible. To one person that three minutes needed to clean the windows gives rise to bad behavior. Therefore, they remove the squeegees on Thursdays.

Smiling I responded, "I understand...don't like it...I understand." Then I said, how about putting a sign up, "No squeegees - No fighting." He laughed.

Today I'll avoid the bad part of human behavior. Tomorrow I'll clean my car...

A very interesting article in the New York Times Health section begins:

Psychologists have long studied the grunts and winks of nonverbal communication, the vocal tones and facial expressions that carry emotion. A warm tone of voice, a hostile stare — both have the same meaning in Terre Haute or Timbuktu, and are among dozens of signals that form a universal human vocabulary.

A couple of key points:

- The evidence that such messages can lead to clear, almost immediate changes in how people think and behave is accumulating fast.

- Good [sports] teams tended to be touchier than bad ones.

- Couples who touch more are reporting more satisfaction in the relationship

 

Just a word of caution: be careful when applying this advice in your workplace...for obvious human resource issues.

The other day as my teen aged son and I were finishing our holiday shopping, we just happened to be looking when some of our fellow shoppers thought we weren’t.  Cutting in line to be the first to check out, making rude gestures to other drivers as they navigated crowded streets and parking lots, and failing to yield their seats to elderly passengers on the Metro – none of these qualify as images any of us would use to describe ourselves at a family gathering.

As many of us in the business world rush to close out another year, what will our co-workers say about our character?  What behaviors have we exhibited when we thought nobody was looking?  How have we treated others who we thought were subordinate to us?

Character is the fabric that is woven throughout our story. It’s the book behind the cover.  It’s what gives our business stories credibility. Most importantly, it’s what compels other people to want to do business with us.

If you are a fan of improvisational ("improv") comedy, then join me in congratulating Second City Television (SCTV) on its 50th birthday. In my teenage years, I watched SCTV and Saturday Night Live regularly. You can find the show DVDs on any of the major retail websites. If you are not yet a fan, learn more about improv (see links below) to improve dramatically your communication skills.

On April 1, 1994 I started my professional improv career with the Washington, DC group. In 2000, I moved to San Francisco and started with the San Jose group (see picture below of me performing). Some 1,000 plus shows later, improv has taught me so much about human behavior and communication. If you ever thought about presentation or public speaking training, seriously think about attending improv classes.

Here are some interesting links to a variety of sites on SCTV and improv:
- SCTV home page
- Photos and videos from the celebration on Facebook
- Comedy Studies at The Second City (full college credit from Collumbia College Chicago) 
- The Second City and Beyond: Joe Flaherty (short clip) 
- John Candy & Joe Flaherty on David Letterman, 1982, Part 1
- John Candy & Joe Flaherty on David Letterman, 1982, Part 2
- SCTV Alumni on Long-Form Improvisation 
- ComedySportz San Jose Promotional Video
- Treat Everyone Like a Key Decision Maker: How Improvisational Humor Training Helps You Sell (article I wrote) 
- The Improvising Organization: Where Planning Meets Opportunity (PDF of article)
- Wikipedia entry 
- Improv Games Book (look for the download button)

Understanding human behavior is a passion of mine. So when a reader, Carol, sent me this article on lying from Forbes.com, I immediately read it.

"In all Honesty, Here are Some Ways to Spot a Liar" starts off…

According to an oft-cited 1996 University of Virginia study led by psychologist Bella DePaulo, lying is part of the human condition. Over the course of one week, DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 participants, aged 18 to 71, to record in a diary all of their social interactions and all of the lies they told during them. On average, each person lied just over 10 times, and only seven participants claimed to have been completely honest.

Here are a few among many of the key take-aways:
- "Most of the time we're just trying to be nice."
- "Liars often give short or one-word responses to questions, while truth tellers are more likely to flesh out their answers."
- "Liars are often reluctant to admit ordinary storytelling mistakes. When honest people tell stories, they may realize partway through that they left out some details and would unselfconsciously backtrack to fill in holes. Liars 'are worried that someone might catch them in a lie and are reluctant to admit to such ordinary imperfections,'" says psychologist Bella DePaulo.

Look for the red highlighted text about half-way through the article to see a slideshow with 11 pictures and descriptions of when someone is generally lying. Look for: Forbes.com slideshow: 11 way to tell they’re lying.

Keep in mind, reading non-verbal cues is not an exact science. It takes years and years to master.

Additional Resources:
- Bella DePaulo, social scientist (PhD, Harvard). Author of the initial study quoted in the article.
- John E. Reid & Associates, developer of the The Reid Technique of Interviewing®, used by law enforcement professionals nationwide.

Reuters posted an interesting and short review of a new college course on flirting for techies. Potsdam University, south of Berlin, started its new course yesterday. Philip von Senftleben, course professor, summed up his role as helping "get someone else's heart
beating fast while yours stays calm." (Use Yahoo!'s Babel Fish to translate both sites from German to English).

According to Reuters', "The 440 students enrolled in the master's degree course will learn how to write flirtatious text messages and emails, impress people at parties and cope with rejection…Students also learn body language, public-speaking, stress management and presentation skills."

"We want to prepare our students with the social skills needed to succeed both in their private life and their work life," said Hans-Joachim Allgaier, a spokesman for the institute at Potsdam University where the course is being offered.

Very, very interesting. There are so many sources for helping people find love. Television shows, magazine articles, web sites, radio shows, blogs, studies, you name it, claiming to help you be better at helping attract and helping to be more attractive. Like everything else in communication, this course attempts to put a science on top/into human behavior.

In my humble 40 plus years as an adult, I can emphatically state that there is no substitute for in-person social interaction. The more and more the Internet replaces and substitutes physical interaction with bits and bytes, the more troubles everyone will have in attracting and keeping friends, colleagues, and business partners.

During last night’s class, I posed a question to the students, "Relationship Building is not…"

One woman was first to answer with "flirting." True, very true I responded. I posited that some flirting is good and that’s part of life. Another female student asked, what is good flirting?

She stumped me…why? Because to me flirting is so much of a you-know-it-when-you-see-it and you-know-when-you-went-over-the-line.

One of the other students, Jose, gave a great example.

What are your thoughts and opinions on flirting for business, not the dating kind?